“The smallest act of kindness is worth more than the grandest intention” – Oscar Wilde
Assertiveness espouses the principles of self-respect and mutual respect. This is a perfect time of year to refocus on both. Being assertive can empower you to show others kindness and help you deal non-aggressively with difficult people and situations.
Here are some seasonal suggestions & tips towards being kind to yourself, kind to others and kind to the planet, whatever festivity you celebrate:
1. Be kind to yourself
According to Ruby Wax, “Only if you are kind to yourself, can you be kind to others”. While there may be some leeway here, it helps to look after yourself. This time of year can be fun but hectic, even stressful, with so much to finish off by the end of the year. You may have presents to buy, people to contact and a need to meet the diverse needs of family, friends and the workplace.
Do you still have much to do?
– Stop, sit down, relax and think it through. (a) Write a list of everything you need to do. (b) Prioritise your list – 1,2,3,4 etc – placing a number in the left margin. (c) In the right margin write how long you estimate each task will take (d) Act on your list of priorities.
-Save shopping time and the stress of travel & bustling crowds by checking who has a Wish List. Buy friends and family what they really, really want.
– If you can’t meet all the demands on you, explain to family & friends what you’ll do later.
Think about who you want to see and what you can realistically do
– Fix times to meet those people you want to see but you can’t see now – early in the New Year. Be honest. Say reassuringly how much you look forward to seeing them.
– Say ‘no’ kindly to the pressures you want to resist, like an extra drink or mince pie, or requests for unaffordable presents. Don’t feel bound by peer pressures; you don’t have to go with the flow. Eat, drink & spend in a way that feels right for you.
– Create some quiet time for yourself for a walk and fresh air to relax as an interlude from the buzz and busyness.
– Leave a clear desk to come back to at work (whether employed or self-employed) to clear your head before the break; make a list all your pending tasks so you are clear about your priorities & what to do next when you return.
2. Be kind to others
For many this time of year is something to look forward to; for some it is a particularly difficult time of year due perhaps to loneliness, poverty, homelessness, or memories of people and times that are lost.
– If you have an elderly or vulnerable neighbour, pop round and see them. Bring them back items they need from the shops. Make time for a coffee and chat. It may make all the difference in the world to them.
– Thank those you meant to thank. Showing appreciation is a warming way to close the year.
– Help homeless people: give a hot drink and nutritious sandwich to someone sleeping rough or a blanket to help them against the cold. Or, donate to one of the homelessness charities such as Crisis or St Mungo’s or Centrepoint, to help get young people off the streets into accommodation, or volunteer (or start planning for volunteering in 2018 such as https://www.mungos.org/get-involved/volunteer/current-volunteering-opportunities/
– Smile at people and greet them – it can make a difference to their day – and so to yours.
3. Be kind to the planet
– Put out bird food where small birds can feed without competition from larger birds & squirrels – you can buy bird feeders that protect against squirrels
– Re-use plastic bags or buy a bag for life when you next go shopping
– Recycle the mountains of packaging that adorn our foods and gifts
– Recycle cards – primary teachers may find them useful in the classroom
– Post your Acts of Kindness on www.kindnessuk.com to give ideas & so encourage others
4. Not looking forward to the festive season yourself?
If this season feels difficult for you, perhaps you are spending it on your own & prefer to be with others, or it’s a poignant time of year, here are a few thoughts that might ease the way:
– Speak about your feelings to someone you trust, to a counsellor or via the many helplines you can find online
– Exercise in a way you enjoy, also physical activity enhances mental outlook
– Use Christmas day itself, when so much is closed, to catch up undisturbed on admin, or that book you’ve been meaning to read, find a really good film to watch.
– If you’d like to spend time with other people, you might consider volunteering for a charity whose work you support who need volunteers at Christmas eg https://www.crisis.org.uk/get-involved/volunteer/ or see https://londonist.com/london/christmas-in-london/where-to-volunteer-in-london-at-christmas if you are in or near London.
– Look out for one of the many community get-togethers such as via ‘Nextdoor’ https://nextdoor.co.uk/ or post a get-together suggestion yourself.
Kindness Quotes
Here are four more of my favourite kindness quotes:
“No act of kindness, no matter how small, is ever wasted.” – Aesop
“Kind words can be short and easy to speak, but their echoes are truly endless.” – Mother Teresa
“Never look down on anybody unless you’re helping them up.” – Jesse Jackson
“Ask yourself, have you been kind today? Make kindness your daily modus operandi and change your world” – Annie Lennox
I wish you relaxing, entertaining and enjoyable seasonal festivities,
whatever festival you celebrate.
