Motivational quotes
"We all have our time machines. Some take us back. They're called memories. Some take us forward. They are called dreams"
Testimonials
"Thank you for your wisdom, care & inspiration"
"I am very pleased to report that I have got exactly what I wanted. I am VERY HAPPY and I must thank you for your part in this & for giving me the confidence to ask for what I want"
"I just wanted to say a huge thank you. I would have been stuck were it not for our session. When I come to the next cross roads I will be sure not to wait. I'll book you straight away!"
Self-Confidence & Self-Esteem
- Zoom
- In Person
- Mobile
Do you:
- put yourself down?
- find it hard to believe in yourself and so reject compliments?
- compare yourself unfavourably with others?
- think you’re not good enough?
- have trouble standing up for yourself?
Would you like to overcome these hurdles and increase your confidence?
What is self-confidence? What is self-esteem?
Are they the same, or different?
Self-esteem is your inner sense of self-worth, valuing who you are without constantly needing the agreeement or validation from others. This personal right underlines the ability to behave assertively: I have the right to relate to people without being dependent on them for approval. It is difficult to state an opinion, make or refuse a request if you submit entirely to the views of others. It is beneficial by communicating assertively to both put your point of view and maintain good relationships.
One of the key personal rights of assertiveness reads: I have the right to relate to people without being dependent on them for approval.
The fear of not gaining approval or of losing it can affect so much of what you do. It may stop you saying “No”, or not expressing your needs or opinions, for example.
The constant need for approval is the single major obstacle to assertive behaviour. And the resulting self-denial lowers confidence and self-esteem.
In contrast, self-confidence is to trust in yourself – your judgment, your abilities and professional competencies and take action in order to accomplish your goals in life. It is also how you present yourself, how you come across & so how others perceive you, as confident or unconfident.
In a nutshell, self-esteem is the human being and self-confidence, the human doing!
For more information please email me.
How can Lucy Seifert Life Coach London help?
Anyone can experience crises of confidence.
Life Coaching helps you dispel your doubts & focus on your talents & well-being. You will overcome these self-defeating beliefs and develop a newfound confidence.
Together we identify the areas to work on, what is holding you back, and the steps forward.
Where relevant and helpful, we may work on developing skills within coaching sessions such as assertiveness, confident communication – verbal and non-verbal (body language), conflict resolution, interview and meeting skills, public speaking, relationship building and time management.
For other skills, we discover the best way for you to acquire them.
We work also on uncovering and highlighting your existing skills and talents.
You can also grow your assertiveness & confidence with my self-help guide.
How does confidence coaching work?
During our confidence coaching sessions we will look to enhance your self-esteem and confidence. It may include identifying and recognising the qualities and skills you have, as well as which to enhance or acquire. It may involve speaking up for yourself personally or at work, becoming more proactive, developing the ability to accept compliments and to be able to express appreciation and give positive feedback to others. What we cover will depend on the issues you bring to the sessions and will be tailored to your needs.
You can build your confidence by
- being aware of the language that you use
- avoiding any self-deprecating or apologetic words, and
- replacing them with positive language.
- For example, when you minimize your message, you may put yourself down in the process. While your intention might be to sound softer to the recipient, in effect you are more likely to be disregarded. Here are some minimizing prefaces:
This may not be important/relevant/helpful/useful/I know I may be off topic but…
This may sound trivial/trite/petty/stupid/pathetic but…I know it sounds weird…
If you start by saying it may not be important or relevant, that’s precisely what people expect, and so they may well switch off. Likewise if you say it will sound trite or stupid, you won’t be taken seriously. Better to tell them you have something important to say!
And do speak up when you have something to say, so much better for your self-confidence than missing an opportunity to speak and regretting it.
You can also increase your confidence and effectiveness by developing positive body language and so be perceived by others as confident. It’s important to give and maintain good, comfortable eye contact.
Perhaps there’s something you’ve been meaning to start for ages, a course, a hobby, where the prospect feels motivating. Why not give it a start date. Waiting is debilitating.
Confidence coaching will involve finding strategies to address situations where you would like to feel more confident than you do at present and to take action and initiative to achieve the goals you set for yourself.
I personally find motivational quotes & proverbs inspiring and I will be sharing some of them here. This is one of my favourites as it drives us to be more proactive:“The weak wait for opportunity. The strong seize opportunity. The wise create their own opportunity.” (Chinese Proverb). I love this proverb. What opportunities are you waiting for? What could you seize or create?
Here are some more:
“If we all did the things we are capable of, we would astound ourselves.” (Thomas Edison, inventor). How does this apply to you? What stands in your way?
“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” (Marilyn Monroe). Consider your qualities, your skills and what is special about you, rather than trying to be a copy of someone else.
“If I am not good to myself, how can I expect anyone else to be good to me?” (Maya Angelou). In what ways are you good to yourself? What else can you do to enhance your well-being?
When one door closes another opens. We may stare so long at the closed door, we do not see the new one open (Spanish Proverb)
- What doors will you close?
- What have you been holding on to that is best to let go?
- What new goals and dreams do you want to open a new door on to?
- Choose one goal and identify the first step to take…and take it!
Coaching is usually online, via Zoom. See my booking and fees options here.
Ideally you will work towards greater self-esteem and self-confidence. While having innate self-esteem will increase your confident self-presentation, acting and behaving with confidence will also enhance your inner self-esteem. Together they comprise your personal power, that sense of self-belief combined with the ability to translate them into positive action.
For tips on achieving positive change, please sign up to my occasional newsletter.
There is a myriad of ways to enhance your self-respect and personal power, such as not comparing yourself to others, being able to handle criticism on the one hand and conversely to accept happily the compliments that come your way. You may wish to explore strategies and skills to deal with difficult people and to challenge put downs or other unpleasant and intimidating behaviours.
Here is an interesting confidence boosting activity for you to try. Imagine you are your best friend or a work peer or senior who truly values you. Write a description of your skills and values from their perspective, in the third person. Now turn the ‘he’ or ‘she’ into ‘I’ statements, and read it aloud! Thus “She is a person of great integrity” becomes “I am a person of great integrity”.
Confidence self-assessment
Considering the following questions will help you assess the areas of your life where you feel confident and where you would like to increase your confidence.
- In which areas of your life would you like to enhance your confidence (a) work & career or (b) in personal matters, with family & friends, or (c) both?
- On a scale of 1-10, with 10 being high, how shy do you feel (a) in social situations or (b) when you stand up and speak to a group of people?
- How nervous do you feel at interviews, slightly or considerably?
- How much do you worry about exams, slightly or considerably? ?
- On a scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being high, how concerned do you feel when you start a new job or role, or manage staff for the first time?
- Are you at university and finding it hard to settle in or keep up with academic demands?
- Are you at the top of your field, facing challenges and high expectations? Does it ever feel lonely at the top?
“I have landed my first lectureship and am very happy. I wanted to let you know as you helped get my confidence back up and made me realise that I do indeed have lots of talents that are very highly regarded.”
