There have been many weeks of lockdown and homeworking, and there are still more to go. In this article, I look at how easy it is for boundaries to be breached and how to manage them instead.
I aim for these tips to also be helpful for those of you who live with someone who’s working from home, in terms of understanding the demands and difficulties of homeworking, and protecting and planning for your own needs to be considered too.
Boundaries others breach and those you breach for yourself
There’s a lot of potential for boundaries to be crossed, if you’re working from home, or living with someone who’s working from home
– Perhaps you’re in a flat share, with a number of people
– You may have children running around, wanting your attention – though this is likely to change shortly if you have children of school age
– The baby might cry or your dog decide to bark or look at you pleading for that walk just as you join an online meeting
– A delivery could arrive as you attend for online interview
– You may also breach the boundaries yourself – enjoying distractions of dogs and deliveries instead of getting on with your work!
– Whereas in an office there is a clear geographical line, there is none when you or someone in your home is working from home.
You may…
– feel cramped from working in a small study or at the kitchen table
– want others to be quiet or feel YOU have to be extra quiet
– be living with someone who is homeworking and you want to come into the kitchen or other room where they’re working, aware that they don’t want to be interrupted
So how is it affecting your relationships?
Your relationships may have become even stronger during lockdown. On the other hand, they may have been adversely affected by being closed in combined with other pressures, uncertainty and anxiety, money issues, job insecurity, lack of personal space – and also by interruptions and intrusions on your time and your ability to think and concentrate. Perhaps you simply yearn for some personal space!
People tell me they find
– it’s harder to have a work-life balance and they’re working longer hours
– it’s hard to switch off; work and non-work hours blend into each other
– people interrupt them by phone, message, video calls at all times of the day and expect them to be there
– there’s nowhere to go out for a break – to get away
– people assume they’re in and call at any time & expect an answer or immediate call back
– friends who aren’t working call in work time
– deliveries arrive and need to be dealt with
– they might have an online interview or important business meeting and want to protect their space and privacy
Which do you identify with?
Overcoming blurred boundaries
When you work from home
- Usually your home is the space you come home to after work, to relax, to switch off, to communicate with friends and family. Now home and work are the same space and it’s up to you to switch off emotionally and in practice when the geography can’t do it for you.
- Ideally, and if you haven’t yet done so, create a separate office at home in a spare bedroom or study, to make that your geographical work area, where you have privacy, quiet, a do not disturb sign on the door to stop interruptions, such as when you’re on a video call. A place when you step inside you’re in work mode and when you step out you’re in personal mode and others in your home know they can speak to you … and get an answer without disturbing your train of thought.
- If you don’t have that luxury, and are hotdesking at the kitchen table, aim to agree practical guidelines for those you live with. Let them know the times you’re on a video call, when you want someone else to answer the door if there’s a home delivery.
- Deal with distractions – the unexpected intrusion into your ‘office’ space, the TV on in the other room, the dog barking. Put a do not disturb sign on the door, lock the door if you can and use headphones to cut out unwanted noise.
- Explain to those you live with, as well as friends, that you are working, that it’s as if you were physically at work, these are your working hours when you’re unable to respond to messages or chat on the phone or on Messenger
- Having a routine, especially around meal times, working hours, exercise and bedtime will ensure your days don’t start to merge into one. Find ways to ensure your weekend feels different and refreshing by creating more structure throughout the week.
- Clarity will help your relationships with family and friends. Tell them your hours of work and also when you take breaks….and stick to them yourself.
And a few more tips..
Seven more steps
– Make detailed day plans and build in routine
– List all the things you must do
– List all the things you want to do (these may overlap)
– Allocate time for everything personal and work
– Be clear about your working hours & switch off work-related devices outside of those times
– For a better night’s sleep, turn off your phone and avoid any checking of mails and messages for at least an hour before you put your head on the pillow
– Have weekends and days off
Positive way forward
If you live with someone who’s homeworking much of the above is equally applicable. Encourage the homeworker to follow these steps; ask them to make you aware of their timing, both work and breaks and do the same for your commitments and breaks. Discuss assertively your respective needs, listen and acknowledge each other’s wishes and find a workable compromise. A collaborative approach is far more constructive than conflict!
