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Stress Management
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Managing stress
Article by Lucy Seifert Life Coach London
There cannot be a stressful crisis next week. My schedule is already full.
Do you ever feel like you’re sinking under your ‘to do’ list?
Or feel burdened by the demands and challengs of life?
It can feel difficult to talk about the stressors in life; however, it isn’t a sign of weakness but rather a strength and important first step in acknowledging the causes and so to find ways forward.
You can choose to use coaching first to talk & offload, then we will work together to find solutions or simply better ways of coping with life’s stressors.
My approach is non-judgmental, confidential and supportive through every step of the way. As a result of our coaching work together, you can expect to become more assertive, confident, proactive and resilient.
You are welcome to book a FREE 20-minute Zoom or phone call. You can explain what’s led you to get in touch and find out what coaching is and how it helps.
What is stress?
The word stress originates from the old French word ‘destresse’ meaning to be oppressed. There is no single definition of stress, but in general it can be defined as an individual’s Inability to cope with the demands of a situation.
It is not necessarily the situation in itself that is stressful, not the external but rather how each of us feels and behaves in relation to the event or circumstances. For example, one person’s negative stress can be another’s positive stressor or motivator, such as meeting a deadline. However, there are, of course, some life events which are more likely to produce stress in the majority of people, such as the break-up of a relationship or being made redundant from the job you love.
Stress at work
Stress in the workplace is a response by body and brain to too much or too little pressure. Perhaps you are one of those who feels your employer places high demands on you yet fails to provide sufficient resources (eg. time, budget, staff) to cope with these demands. Some clients speak of lack of support, such as ineffective systems of supervision or lack of accessibility to managers to discuss their concerns.
However, stress may not only be at the door of the employing organisation, since as individuals we can also add to our levels of stress by:
- Placing unrealistically high expectations on ourselves
- Being resistant to seeking support or advice from manager, colleagues, friends, family , mentor or other professional helper. People often find it hard to ask for help feeling it reflects adversely on their abilities.
- Viewing a situation so that it becomes more stressful than it need be, and waiting so long to address it that what starts as a minor issue becomes a mega one.
Symptoms & causes of stress
The signs of stress are many and it’s worth getting to recognise yours. Symptoms include headaches, difficulty sleeping, feeling forever tired, clumsiness, an inability to relax, shoulder and neck pain and forgetfulness. You may clench your teeth at night, find it hard to concentrate and constantly feel tense and anxious. If you recognise you are more stressed than usual, it’s time to stop, take stock and consider how to control it before it takes control of you.
You may also recognise many of the above as also being symptoms of anger and there can be a relationship between stress and anger such as with conflict in a relationship.
We tend to think about stress as being caused by too much to do, an emotional event, or the prospect of a difficult decision, to name a few causes. However, there is another type of negative stress where the demands placed on us are below our capacities, resulting in boredom, lack of fulfillment and discontent. Then we need to find ways of increasing the demands on ourselves, particularly those that interest and motivate us.
How can Lucy Seifert Life Coach London help?
During our Life Coaching session you will be able to identify your key stressors, separating the demands you make on yourself from the external demands made upon you. We will explore ways to prevent, reduce or manage your stressors, internal & external, and develop an action plan of strategies and skills to address current circumstances that will also serve you for future events.
Ways of managing stress
These may include enhancing your skills & capacities through, for example, assertiveness training, confidence coaching or time management techniques.
Some stresses can be prevented, some reduced and for some you may need to find ways coping strategies.
“Anchors” are invaluable in coping with stressful periods. The concept of “anchors” in stress management is that there are places and things that you’re attached to that give you a sense of calm. Examples are walking in a favourite park, sitting in your most comfortable chair, relaxing in a particular cafe, or listening to music you love. Ask yourself: what anchors do you have? How can these help to counter times of stress?
“Patterns” or “Routines” are also important in reducing and countering stress. For example, holding meetings at the same time every week, answering emails at the same times of day, going to the gym the same days of each week. Your body clock will expect these patterns, and having regular meeting times prevents you having to continually arrange them and check if people are available. And aim to start and close each day with the same routine.
If you have a task to do that you keep putting off, do it first, at the start of the day. Don’t let it sit on your shoulders weighing you down. You will feel lighter once it’s done and more able to focus on the rest of your day.
The stress of having too much to do can adversely affect sleep which in itself can increase feeelings of stress or make it more difficult to cope with. Here are two tips to assist with sleep: (1) write your to do list for the next day the evening before; don’t leave it to the morning or you might turn things over in your head at night (2) turn off all devices at least one hour before retiring for the night!
Handling stress, or pre-empting it, may involve establishing a better work life balance. And remember:
“The time to relax is when you don't have time for it."
