Blogs 1 and 2 on the subject of stress looked at understanding what stress is. Blog 1 explored how it can be caused by external factors yet is also something we can create or contribute towards. Blog 2 went on to explore the causes or triggers of stress as well as the symptoms: how to recognize you are experiencing stress. The above are all important in being able to manage stress. This blog sets out three starter strategies to pre-empt, reduce and cope with stress.
1. Routine and patterns
Whilst too much routine can create boredom, this is about positive patterns. Lack of routine and patterns in life is a major contributor to stress. Patterns for meetings, doing key tasks (such as at the start of the working day), getting together with friends or going to the gym, develop a central fabric or scaffolding which hold your day and week together. They keep you rooted and help you organize other events and task around them. Patterns also reduce the need to keep making new arrangements such as with work colleagues or friends. You and others know where you & they stand.
– What useful patterns can you create for yourself?
– Make a list of at least three.
2. Me-time
A busy life at home and/or at work may mean you attend more to tasks and to others than to yourself. The pressures at home can spill over into work, and work into the home so affecting people around you. Allocate some time for yourself in each day and each week. Make it manageable and realistic so you stick it to it. For example, a fifteen-minute walk at lunchtime or after work on a daily basis, preferably in a place where you feel a sense of wellbeing, such as a favourite park or square, if feasible. Perhaps you like to go to the gym or have quiet time at home to listen to music or watch a film you want to see. Setting aside this Me-time & putting it in your planner/diary makes it real. Keep these appointments with yourself.
– What Me-time would help you feel more relaxed and give a sense of well-being?
– What Me-time would you like on a daily basis?
– What Me-time would you like on a weekly basis?
3. Saying No
No is such a short word, yet can be so hard to say. Do you ever find that someone asks you to do something and your gut response is “Oh no!” yet your mouth opens and you hear yourself say “Yes, of course”? Not only do you give yourself yet something else to do, if you really don’t want to do it in the first place, you may find yourself stressing about how to get out it.
Think carefully about what you are happy to say yes to and be polite and considerate in refusing when you feel the request is unreasonable or you don’t have the will or time to do what’s asked of you. Be clear, avoiding the confusing “I don’t mind” answer. Offer an alternative if that feels fine to you, such as “I won’t be able to start this piece of work today. I’ll make it a priority tomorrow morning.” If all else fails, you can change your mind, though preferably not at the eleventh hour: eg “I know I agreed to follow up the meeting actions this afternoon. I realise that it isn’t feasible given my writing deadline of 12 noon tomorrow, so I suggest I earmark it for tomorrow afternoon”.
– Make a note of one request you’d like to say no to that would make a positive difference in your life and work
– Is there a situation where you could reasonably change your mind? How will you approach this?
Looking forward
There are many counters to stress and we will look at more in future blogs. This blog highlights 3 starter steps that can make a big difference. Introduce changes gradually, rather than trying to do them all at once. Ensure your changes and actions fit neatly into your working and personal life so that you are more likely to carry them through.
To find out more, contact me or find my daily tips on Twitter.
You are also welcome to subscribe to my regular newsletter which discusses a wide range of personal development topics.
