In my previous blog, I explained what stops you from saying ‘NO’ and the different ways in which you can say ‘NO’.
Here are five assertive personal rights that to help you have courage and confidence to say ‘NO’, or ask for time to think about the request and to give you permission to change your mind in the event that you don’t say “NO” in the first place.
- I have the right to define my own limits, look after my needs and say ‘No’ (You don’t always need to look after others’ needs before your own; find a comfortable and honest balance)
- I have the right to ask for time to think before I agree, disagree or make a decision (You don’t have to respond instantly if you’re unsure but, if you ask for time, ensure that you also say when you’ll get back to the person. It gives both you and them a deadline)
- I have the right to reconsider and change my mind (If you say “YES” at the time then regret it, you can change your mind, but don’t leave it to the eleventh hour)
- I have the right to refuse responsibility for other people’s problems if I so choose (you are responsible to but not for others, unless they are your dependents)
- I have the right to relate to people without being dependent on them for approval (the most common reason people cite for being unable to say “NO” is the fear of losing approval, but is it reasonable to expect everyone to approve of everything you do or don’t do? If you try, you’ll end up running round in circles, trying to please everyone except yourself!)
Remember – the assertive right to say no does not mean you become selfishly absorbed by your own needs. It empowers you to consider other’s needs in relation to your own. This means that you can be clear and honest about what you can and want to do and what you do and don’t want others to do.
Look out for my next blog which will detail the skills you need to say ‘NO’.
In the meantime, follow me on Twitter for daily tips and advice about assertiveness, time management, life coaching and more.
